(doesn't anyone else really miss good old 'W'?)There have been vicious rumours circling the web regarding the locating of brotha and that whereisbrotha is now dead and obsolete... I'm here to tell you that NONE OF IT IS TRUE!
Yes it's true that Lacost thought he saw Brotha from behind at a party one night, but it turned out to be a VW Touareg. Yes it's true that Ice thought he saw Brotha at an IPL game, but thatn just turned out to be Dwayne Leverock. Yes it's true that Jedi hasn't visited this blog in over 3 months =/
But the hunt for brotha continues, so please keep those anonymous tips coming on 0800-789-BROTHA!!! We are counting on your assistance in the hunt for the infamous and ever allusive brotha.
In the meantime however, let us take stock of the first 5 months since the inception of whereisbrotha following the 2am miracle and the recent events that have befallen the whereisbrotha team.
Ice continues to follow the path of the nomad. After having been thrown out of Australia for not having a criminal record, Ice has migrated north to the USA for the summer. A week after he arrived stateside, all the US embassies in South Africa were closed, following a 'credible security threat'. It turns out that the threat came from long time ex-lover Maveli, who stated he 'couldn't bare to be separated from the Ice lovin for another minute'. When asked to comment, Ice merely licked his fingers and rubbed him nipples while humming I'm to sexy.
In other news, we feared the world was coming to an end when Lacost found a girl who actually thought all his costs were "cute". In what appeared to be a story straight out of Revelations, this poor misguided girl actually enjoys spending time with Lacost and says 'so what if he causes the Indian cricket team to lose every now and then, he's super cute'. Naturally, unwilling Lacost room-mate Nijella took this as a self-fulfilment of the prophecies regarding the 'end of days' and decided to throw caution to the wind, live dangerously and take advantage of every remaining moment. Nijella has since taken up golfing.
There has also been speculation regarding the creation of a new website to track down the location of our only female whereisbrotha contributor. I'm here to tell you that this rumour is in fact based of some truth and there is a possibility that whereisjedi will be up and operational by the end of October (Jedi has a birthday in October, so we're hoping to use presents as bait to lure her out of hiding).
Finally, your very own Wifi will be relocating to the crime capital of the world in December. So if I haven't posted here on whereisbrotha within a month of arriving in Gauteng, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm dead... but it might.
On a more festive note however, please join me in congratulating Nijella on his recent engagement. The wedding is in December in Kerala and all brown people (except Kulfi) are invited as long as they bring him presents. Strangely enough, Nijella agreed to get married before he thought the world was going to end. We wish Nijella all the best on this new life adventure.
Well it's been a fun spell here at whereisbrotha and plenty has happened over the past 5 months. The posts have become fewer and farther between, but that was always bound to happen. But please bear with us, we aren't going anywhere!
-wifi
